When something really disturbs my mind but is well beyond my control I have to brainstorm possible solutions. We lose at least one woman, mother, daughter a day to domestic violence each day here. Sure there are laws but statistics prove that although these women have towed the futile legal line their murderer has broken the law numerous times with no impunity – yes women also perpetuate violence but the majority by far are male!

This tells him that it’s ok, that he can get away with that ultimate act of killing. Sometimes done in full sight of the children who suffer ongoing repercussions of violence in the home. “Home” a place where we should all feel safe, a sacred refuge from the worldly turmoil becomes a place of fear and dread.

Our media has finally published stats on the dozens of police officers who are charged with DV but get off with no offence recorded coz they look after their own. Soon they will understand the link I saw decades ago … why would you charge another bloke with behaviour similar to your own? That you sincerely believe is quite ok.

So although women and coroners have tirelessly campaigned to change the laws it remains a legal system made by men for men … ‘justice’ is usually absent or ‘blind’ as depicted by the statue holding the scales! It’s not a coincidence that she is a female statue blinded by the oppression of a system operating against them.


Softball has a reasonable tally … three strikes and you’re out! So if a stalker, rapist, murder or DV violators break the law three times let’s give them another life … Let them suffer the consequences immediately.

On the other hand we have legitimate refugees locked up in concentration camps with no way out. And therein lies my proposed solution, swap them over. Yes if someone, anyone, regardless of gender breaks the law three times swap their home and their assets immediately with a legitimate refugee.

The legal system doesn’t seem to have been sufficient deterrent so maybe another lifestyle might be more suitable? If they know they will lose their home, their auto – an object close to most men’s hearts – and all their assets eg savings, investments, job. This could be a greater deterrent that might make them think again. But if not they should suffer instant consequences! Not delay the exchange until numerous appeals or wealth and connections get them off again.

Exchange them immediately and allow them to sit out the process in some remote community whilst the refugee gets a taste of freedom not at the taxpayers expense. Let the perpetrators assets set them up for a new life, a real chance at freedom. And sure the refugee probably wont be qualified to pick up the offenders job but once employers twig that they can and will lose offending staff members. Then they also might make it more uncomfortable for the offender to continue this unacceptable behaviour. We have to flog a failed system into finding feasible solutions to keep women and children alive and safe!


  1. Kate, this certainly is an appalling situation you describe! I doubt if it is better here.

    The US still has 545 children separated from their parents at the Mexican border in 2018. The parents have presumably returned to their home countries. Efforts to reunite families are stalled by the pandemic.

    Your post is thought-provoking, and your proposed solutions make a lot of sense. Government policies seem to make little sense these days!

    All the best! Cheryl ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Absolutely adore your solution idea Kate…Yeah wonderful… 😊😍. I think you might remember this poem I wrote last year, in support of Mich’s book about domestic violence…

    Back to Her Man

    She goes back to her man
    A female ghost, in no-man’s land
    When he angrily points to her wedding band
    How many broken promises, she cannot understand?

    She goes back to her man
    What is the colour of his bruised hand
    When he rips off her headband
    How many times will she feel his fistful of sand?

    She goes back to her man
    What is that name for his brand
    When he stomps her armband
    How many years before she’s able to make a stand?

    She goes back to her man
    What is the origin of his shameless land?
    When he demands her waistband
    How many decades before he’s banned?

    She goes back to her man
    What happens to her life unplanned?
    When his every word is a command
    How will she survive the witness stand?

    She goes back to her man
    Abandoned, now in shadowland
    Living is hell, after his reprimand
    He is not worthy, nor is he grand

    She goes back to man

    Liked by 3 people

    • coz if she does she will die …

      deeply distressing and so accurate Ivor … I don’t believe I’ve read this poem before. Thanks for adding your voice and support!


  3. Kate, what you are expressing here is an issue so old and rotten. It is a problem because the same law has turned a blind eye to issues like this one. It’s like going after a Goliath in this case, and no, it’s not David attempting this.

    But somebody ought to talk about it for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • you say it well Angela … it’s an age old issue and the media are only just now starting unravel the real reasons why those laws are NOT enforced … we need to find a feasible solution asap Angela 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Your solution is best. Swap them and finish it at once.
    Cruel patriarchy has disturbed the humankind. I still have not understood that why nothing is resolving. The problems are the same and years of accumulation and liberation have made them worse. Laws persist and have been amended a lot many times but why not anyone thinks about uprooting it full and final. The future generations are learning what? Ah so much going on around at the micro and macro level.

    Very much needed. 🙂 Thank you for sharing the post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Kate, as long as we have leaders who are not empathetic to this problem, nothing will change. Collective social conscience awakens if one case goes horribly wrong, but after that we all get back to the business of living and the problem persists. Laws are there, every where, but…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A brilliant solution but it will never fly – but there has to be something that can be done… My father was a very good man. When I was engaged to Sparky, he took him aside and put the fear of God into him. Told him that if he ever laid a hand on me in anger that would be the last time he’d ever see me, the last time he’d ever strike any woman… Not that Sparky would have ever entertained that idea but it did make an impression. It took him 10 years to reveal the info to me!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Sad reality. The past and the present. I hope the future is better. I remember some TV/newspaper/radio campaigns from my childhood days on the importance of educating, and supporting daughters in early years.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The police never police their own. Until that happens we will continue to suffer unpunished violence at their hands. And this extends to all men in power of course. That kind of revenge is a nice thought, but nothing will be done until we work to change the entire system . It’s hard work, and easy to get discouraged…(k)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. oh my Kate my heart bleeds for the victims of DV and i really applaud you for that possible solution. i wish we would see the change we want to see in our lifetime.
    in my own country alone, our lawmakers were able to draft and passed a law on Violence Against Women and Children only recently. if i am not mistaken the law is basically just 10 years old. imagine 10 years ago, what happens to these DV victims and the perpetrators… the victims just kept their silence because no amount of fighting can get them the kind of justice they have because of the simple fact that there isn’t a single law protecting them and the abusers just walk away with it… just like that. and yes you are right, laws are made by men for men.


    • we’ve had laws a lot longer than that, but they still get off scot free Mich … coz the police and courts choose not to enforce those laws no matter how often they are broken, no matter how many women a children die ….

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Kate, I appreciate the need to bring this discussion forward. Any type of domestic violence is filled with a total lack of love and regard for others. The victims need more of our grace and compassion.

    Liked by 1 person

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