calmkate

an aussie tail

An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his stock in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Bryony suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?

Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ….. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to Billy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, you’ll be helpin’ yourself to one of me animals, then, since you won it fair and square.” says Billy.
He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car.

As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?”

The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know? He grins and then says, “Okay, old fella, why not? I’m a believer in fair play.”

“You’re a politician & you work in Canberra.” says the old timer.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered Billy “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollar’s worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.”

shared by a friend who found it on fb

34 comments

  2. I adore this tail!! You know I grew up in the city and was teased that chocolate milk came from brown cows!!

    Showed this to my Hubby and he got a good chuckle out of it too!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. “Great, that was a disaster.” sighed the yuppie, as he turned to retrieve his pricey equipment.

    Ten seconds too late, it turns out, has he watched it disappear down the gullet. Apparently, at least a few of these “sheep” are goats.

    Fists clenched and face purple, he demanded, “How can today possibly get any worse?”

    As the yuppie felt a tugging at his neck, he watched a goat snacking on his tie, and he had his answer.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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