“special” friend

when someone becomes your ‘special’ [SF] friend
and others seem more distant
with “SF” the sole bridge, that singular communicator

be wary of what they’ve said you said
to keep others at bay
making them so very ‘special’ in each and every way

I watch it all unfold
it’s plain nasty and ever so bold
elevates them to sole translator

they proceed to mould my story
hinged around their fame and glory
calculated to promote themselves

I shrug and let it be
thinking ‘their loss’
they didn’t bother to get to know me

isolating me is massive control
as they try to own my soul
I’ve been passive in this game

knowing it’s their shame
at a loss to rise above
their warped definition of love

it has dire consequences
it is a sin
for no one can win

yet SF knowingly manipulates relationships
for their own end
what message does this send

if you notice yourself doing this
please stop and think it through
what does this say about you?

why alienate others
and pretend friendship
when it’s really just your ego trip!

there is reason for alarm
as it causes drastic harm
deep breathes bring calm


  1. I’ve experienced this at work… I had a bully boss who would periodically “cut one from the herd” to be her SF and then smother them. Eventually they would either quit or have a mental meltdown. Rarely would one survive. I was lucky to never be the SF – I was always the “whipping boy”. I however survived and outlasted her!! My little victory.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. A powerful piece. I happy to say I have never done this. But I never been an SF or had SF. I have Friends not many. I dont believe in best friends.

    I value honesty, kindness, compassion, and if a person is the same inside as out. This is what I give in all my interactions and kinda expect back. But I am experienced enuf to know we are all not the same.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m so glad that you spoke up about toxic relationships and friendships with such powerful words! So wonderfully written, I love how it ended with calm – so fitting for “calmkate”!

    I had an SF once who constantly took advantage of me and had ulterior motives with everything she did! I managed to distance and break off the friendship though, and it has definitely lifted a huge weight off my chest.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Excellent poem, Kate! So well expressed and written!

    Those people (like you describe) have most often been female in my experience. So I always have few really good, safe female friends and lots of male friends.

    I learned how to spot those women and stay clear of them. They were always out to dominate, control, use, etc. 😦
    😷 🙂 😷

    PS…great fungi photos!

    Liked by 2 people

    • lol I see them as a fungus … maybe you might share how you spot them? I still get that wrong …
      and you are right I haven’t met a male who does this yet … all women!
      much thanks and love, take care ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      • HA! I thought of the fungus connection after left your site. Ha! 😀

        I don’t know if I can explain it…When I’m around people I’ve just met for the first time I spend time observing them and watching how they interact with others…I listen to what they say about themselves, what they say TO other people, what they say ABOUT other people, etc., and they often show their true colors fairly quickly.

        Also, I just get this “sixth sense” feeling about them and realize they would not be a healthy person for me to get close to.

        My family is often amazed when I’ve met someone and said, “I gotta’ keep that person at arm’s length. I can tell already they like to control other people, etc.” And later my assessment of them is revealed to be spot on.

        Don’t get me wrong…I try to be their friends…I’m willing to help them when I can…I just don’t get too close.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, gosh! You just reminded me! I had a male boss like that, too! He thought he was god and he had no clue how to be a good leader or how to treat anyone. Then he always wondered why people worked for him for a short time and then quit. Of course, then he figured out THEY were to problem. It COULDN’T be him! 😉 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I can totally relate to this Kate.. arrggg i dont even know why they exist in the first place.

    I just watched Alladin and i love what Alladin said to Jasmine “people dont see the real you when you are a royalty”.

    Same goes for this so called toxic people. They are just there around when they can benefit something from you..

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I have always believed that what you put out there comes back to you…I guess I see it as God’s economy. Truth and honesty and trust are the basis for all relationships. I actually feel very sorry for people who are incapable of that. Life is short and there are so many wonderful people. In the times that I have been deeply hurt by someone, I focus on all the good souls that have made such an imprint on my life.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I knew someone like that – We had minimum in common. Yet I remained nice for perhaps too long. I just ended up distancing the opportunity to ‘stay in touch’. I know they have their issues but I also have mine, which I had once shared but didn’t want to dwell on. Through many years ‘they’ became bolder in a public way and I witnessed a confrontation that to me was a large red flag. So I now stay well away.

    Sometimes you cannot help an overpowering personality. They cannot be allowed to rule your roost.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Splendid, Kate! A nice expression of humanity’s duality.

    We can grasp the sublime and just as often, wallow in depravity.

    Potential for such good, and for such depravity. As you caution, beware the friend who promises one, but delivers the other.

    Sigh, would that we always were wise enough to recognize it before things got too out-of-hand.
    Yes, if only…

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Such a good poem, Kate, and I loved the point of it. Those “special” people who want to be “our everything” are to be avoided at all costs. True friends, and lovers, for that matter, don’t want to isolate us from the other special people in our lives. My husband likes some of my friends better than others, but he’d never dream of telling me not to hang out with any of them. And I wouldn’t dream of restricting him or telling any of my friends not to be in relationship with others. That is SO unhealthy!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. You described it very well.
    I really like the way you connected physics in so uniquely. It should be appreciated for such a great poem.
    Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

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