the end

the ritual of a surfies death
mates paddle out with a wreath and a pray
as family gather on the beach

the end - 1

a young lad took his life this week
professional help is what one should seek
when life becomes hopeless and helpless

think seaside living with stunning sunrises is paradise …
then think again.

This is what I had to witness this morning well over
a hundred board riders, probably closer to 200

plus many more gathered on the beach … too sad!

46 comments

    • no but that is the reason why we must make it more acceptable to seek professional help, sometimes those close by have no idea that the grief runs so deep!
      Take care xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s true. But what surprises me, in many instances, is the ones close to the suffering one, brush off their sorrow as a phase rather than talking it out and listening to them and encouraging them to seek professional help. Mental health is one of the biggest silent killers. Agreed with time, the prejudices have reduced but we do have a long way to go.

        Liked by 1 person

        • we have a very long way to go … those closed are often in denial. Those close don’t want to imagine things are that bad and that’s why I really push professional help … it can save lives and is only a phone call away.

          A week later and the guys boat and work ute have been taken away. No idea if he owned them or was paying them off. But even with all that …

          Liked by 1 person

          • Yes, more so when there are people to discourage you. I was discouraged myself and it is not a happy place to dwell in when that happens. A pizza, a coffee and your problems will be solved if you talk over a coffee doesn’t necessarily work.

            Liked by 1 person

            • so sorry you were discouraged .. have you ever made a connection with a counsellor yet? Even if you don’t need one it’s good to break down that barrier and know one just in case ..

              Liked by 1 person

              • I did thankfully even though there were critics. I was reluctant given the no support but dragged myself anyway. And I am glad I did. Now I am advocating this, especially children I work with. They are the most vulnerable and find it hard to trust, to talk. It helps so much to open up and lay bare the thoughts that keep bouncing inside one’s head.

                Liked by 1 person

  1. I was in the hospital, I am sick, so I comment less often.
    There, I noticed that people are becoming less and less mentally resistant to trouble, just to get them off balance. They have not coded that you should ask for help. The neighbor’s child also committed suicide because his parents told him to wear long pants and he wanted a short one. A frequent phenomenon in this family. Suicides also in the genes recorded. I send greetings

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heart wrenching. With all this sheltering in more and more suicides are happening. It’s awful. I let it be known I’m available if someone needs to talk..no judgement…and I try to keep an eye out still…It’s a horrible way to feel like death is the best answer.

    Like

  3. Heartrending, Kate. Puts to lie the impression surfers are, to a person, happy-go-lucky and unburdened. Not so, especially in this case.

    At such times, it’s impossible not to reflect on “what if?” If our lad could’ve seen the outpouring of emotion and supports his action brought, would it have stayed his hand? By definition, one isn’t thinking rationally at such times, but maybe this knowledge would’ve been enough.

    What wasn’t enough, sadly, was the help, if any, our lad received at the critical moment. Reinforces your point that, in many cases, a professional’s help is invaluable. Then again, medical professionals are largely out-of-practice midst social isolation. At least those are who typically assist patients on a one-to-one basis.

    Liked by 1 person

    • most surfies I know have a heavy drug use … usually weed but they seem quite dependent and this can play havoc with our perspective.

      not really a medical professionals role Keith … suicide prevention is best handled by trained counsellors. The medicos have a broad enough brief already.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. There’s so much shame in the word for asking for help or telling the truth when someone asks how we’re doing. Which is truly sad because the reality is we all need help sometimes and shouldn’t feel like a burden, guilty, or like there’s something wrong with us. 😞

    Like

    • “shame” is a loaded word Jenna … I prefer to reframe it!
      That it takes much “courage” to seek help when things are glum.
      thanks for adding your voice!

      Like

      • I mean …I’ve known individuals struggling with mental health that have felt shame around it due to their cultural views and people fear shame. I believe their is no shame in asking for or getting help. I absolutely agree it takes courage an there should be no shame surrounding it. I’m sorry Kate if I didn’t express my thoughts clearly. 😦

        I hope you are doing well otherwise! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • thanks for clarifying that Jenna … I wouldn’t normally be pedantic about a word but this is a vital issue so I feel we need to be very careful about what others will read here 🙂

          I’m well thanks, lockdown has been eased so expecting my best friend to visit soon … then most restrictions should be lifted next week!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Understandable, having lost my dad to suicide when I was a teenager (two weeks after graduating high school) I understand.

            Well I hope your visit with your best friend is a wonderful time and that you get to get out and have some good adventures! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so sorry that despair drove him to take his own life. I do wish that among all the “stay at home” messages we’re getting these days we would also acknowledge the emotional stress that so many are feeling, and offer them relief. I think sometimes we’re afraid to admit it when we’re not handling this situation well, as if we were weak or uncaring. Thanks for posting this message reminded people to seek help when it’s needed!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, Kate. I despair over this every day. Sometimes it’s a surfer (my life … so, long, long ago), sometimes it’s a tortured poet, sometimes it’s a lover who cannot go on without the centre of his universe.
    But sometimes it’s just a guy who sells vacuum cleaners at ‘The Good Guys’.

    For whatever reason these are the ones that break my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, exactly but if we have someone to share, less will be piled in our hearts and eventually less will need help from professionals. And even better the “someone” will convice to go to professional.

        Like

        • oh I wish for the day Rupali … I worked in this field for years and seldom found anyone close could hear/see the warning signs.

          But if more could step up, do some form of training and listen to the underlying messages then we could half the rate rapidly!

          Liked by 1 person

  7. You know this makes me very sad.
    We must always let those we love know we love them while they are with us.
    I’ve been kind of surprised, during the COVID19, that I have not seen more ads, commercials, things on line, that reach out to people who are depressed, feeling hopeless and scared to offer them help. 😦
    Such an important post, SweetKate! Thank you for sharing this with us!
    (((HUGS))) ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh my..the lockdown and being alone may have contributed to this…it is so sad to hear someone go this way…he may have ended his problem but the people around him especially his family and love ones will always have this feeling of “how did i miss the sign?”

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Good reminder to reach out to others, depression and other mental health issues can go a long time undetected.

    Liked by 2 people

      • every life is valuable and with purpose, maybe his story will make a difference in someone else’s life, and make them see how many miss them if they were gone. and miss them with no closure. its usually the happy faced ones that go unnoticed.

        Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s