Mudslide

The Second Challenge: write two 99-word stories using your original free-draft for mudslide. One continues the original POV. The second uses a different POV or POV character. This is your chance to see how flash fiction can be an exploratory tool.

POV = Point of View
beware here are two different versions of the one story, taken from Rank Dank Mud

 

A violent piercing crack wakes us all.

Goodness the mountain slid downhill taking trees, homes, vehicles, pets and people. The sight is most disturbing leaving our mind and emotions numb.

Everything is strewn about like kindling covered in dank rank mud. Power, water and sewage are out. The shelves are all bare as we panic shopped.

The debris, mud and waste are rotting like compost but this is our community … we are muted as we struggle to comprehend. Having assured our loved ones that we are safe our phones are off for emergencies only. No power to recharge.

 

Looking down I can see that my minions need a reminder that they are mortal. To stop taking life for granted, whining instead of being thankful for what they’ve got.

A good old storm with a dangerous mudslide should remind them to be more grateful. I’ll make sure to knock out their utilities and keep them isolated and hungry for a while. Life has got too easy with groceries galore and light at the flick of a switch.

As for those damned devices they’re all so engrossed in I’ll make sure that they have to talk to each other.

 

PS That double rainbow was over my orchard the other day! 

 

22 comments

  1. A double rainbow to match a double story; and what a clever change of POV. I wouldn’t have thought of providing the thoughts of ‘the man upstairs’. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful double rainbow.
    Life always has two edges. But communities can be good at pulling together. I’ve seen in some good news articles when people from all over the world help one individual or location.

    Liked by 2 people

    • oh much prefer it, but extremely limited net access now, on the weekend I access free net so I will be sure to read them then … and I never mind my regulars posting as many links as they like .. hoping others will also check them out 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Stunning double rainbow! A joy-bringer for sure! 🙂
    Love your story! And sharing God’s POV is brilliant! I imagine he shakes his head a lot as he watches us.
    Often human-beans need a wake up call to remember what is important and how we should spend our time.
    HUGS!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good job, Kate! Your POV shift led to this great nugget: “Life has got too easy with groceries galore and light at the flick of a switch.” I enjoyed how the original POV tightened the scene, but it is the second POV that expands your story. It surprised me, too!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I like the two views. Many either believe that once created nature was left alone to do without any will of consciousness. Or that all omnipotent power is chivalrous. If one looks at many religious sources there seems to always be that yin and yang. Not being able to have good without the bad.

    Liked by 1 person

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