Many are initially attracted by the physical, the chemical reaction, appearance or the ability to fulfil our needs. But at the start of any relationship we make an emotional investment even if not living together.
We bring our baggage into the relationship from our family of origin, our past relationships and the biggest of all our ‘expectations’. While in those early days we squeeze and distort ourselves in order to fit in with what we perceive as our partners expectations or interests.
Almost like we pause our authentic self in order to mould ourselves more fully into what we perceive is their preferred partner. But as time passes we inevitably relax, the façade peals away and we are left standing in our naked glory. We really can’t bear watching football every weekend; we are not really domestic goddesses … it was just part of our seduction.
Then the real work comes when we decide that this is a relationship worth ‘working’ for! And despite all the articles claiming that likes/opposites attract; select one with similar interests, etc.
The real key to any relationship is mature sincere communication. We need to talk things over, learn to compromise, share some interests but always be yourself!
Getting to know their family and friends is essential but can create drama. And if you’re not being introduced to these significant others then accept that it is just a dalliance.
As for breaking up, mature communication is again a crucial factor. Be fair, be kind and when children are involved you always need to be civil after all children hear and see more than we realise.